Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Some times I’m happy and I go, watch a film. Some times I watch a film and then I’m happy.

HerBut today, I saw Her and I’m happy just for the reality that film exists.

Film is simply, more than a consciousness that defines our multitude of emotions. The answers we seek, the silences echoing inside us, our memories we doubt as dreams and never ending gush of thoughts dying out even before we realize and experience them.

Her is truly the power of cinema and infinite ways we look at ourselves and every thing around.

Director Spike Jonze’s Adaptation blew my mind away. It is undoubtedly one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen. I am yet to watch his other films. Now comes along the way, is Her. As my expectations and excitement kept me restless, Spike, as any maestro would do, took no time to transcend my physical realm into the film’s consciousness. I felt lost into Her beautiful world and every thing I saw and every emotion I experienced  reverberated as reality.

Her is a journey to know that, love is not to be understood but felt. The same, would serve right for Her. A film, about a guy falling in love with an artificial intelligence, too must be felt, not understood. All way along, the film is more about her-the-movie-samanthaself inquiry. As love is about our adamant belief in self-doubt, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) and Samantha (Scarlett Johansson) are in eternal doubt about their collective existence and its implications on each of their individualism.

The perspective of woman in the film is invisible. It deeply intrigues the existence of woman and universalization of woman’s grand beauty around us.

I always felt Great Expectations to be the greatest love story I’ve seen. May be I share a thought with Woody Allen‘s quote in Vicky Cristina Barcelona,

Unrequited love is the most romantic.

To look into Ethan hawke’s and Glyneth paltrow eyes, Just to look at them, and feel the in-culminated love for each other. But Her surpasses such emotion.The intimacy between Theodore and Samantha is surreal. Samantha is never seen in the film. The existence of Woman in Her is purely and absolutely emotional, as it is ought to be.

What makes you fall in love with a person? Really ? This question seems to bewildering us since the inception of universe and the quest over this question has been the singular binding life-force, since then.Her mirror

The possibility of falling in love with an artificial intelligence, drives us to delve deeper into our understanding about Love and Soul.

Samantha’s words, actions, wants, and her philosophical introspections might or might not let us define her as a person with a soul.

In one of the most interesting scenes of the film , Samantha is constantly obsessed about her not having a body and slightly jealous over his ex-wife. She tells him, all of us have been part of the same matter around us since 13 billion years.

People die, take birth and all the things that keep evolving have to be a part the absolute matter around us. That makes every thing the same, at certain level.The limitation of physical matter impels us to the unification all entity.

We talk about love beyond the looks, beyond physicality. When we define a person in terms of Love, it has to be beyond just a collection of thoughts and actions. Her has even gone beyond such definitions.

The need for love and our sufferings in its quest are unreasonable and inherently destined.

I can never get over her.

The past is just a story we tell ourselves


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Life’s ultimate question.

To think about it, to pursue it, to experience it.

Where does happiness really lie? why do we have to search it forever?

If  life’s ultimate happiness lies in, living the way, we want to live, why don’t we simply do it? Is there a better life tomorrow, If I sacrifice today’s happiness for tomorrow’s happiness?

Like every one around I do have many dreams in life. Things i want to do, places i want to visit, people i want to be with.

Ultimately, do we have to find Reality ? Or acknowledge and immerse ourselves in the infinite Nothingness of human consciousness and the Universe?

Then, do we find a Reality of nothingness and Nothingness in reality?

Some would say, the quest in itself is real. Some say, the self is real. Some might say, more than the self, what we find through the quest is real.

But in all nothingness, Can there be any thing really Real?

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Once there was a Child,

I’ve lost him in abandoned dreams,

I became a Man.

Once there was God,

I’ve caged him in temples,

I became a Man.

Once there was a Sea of Love,

I’ve dried it up with reason,

I became a Man.

Once there were Skies of Freedom,

I’ve cut off my wings, in a run for the buck,

I became a Man.


Now I’m a Beggar, not home-less, but Soul-less.

Half-naked as the Truth,

As Sinful as Love,

As Real as Death.


All Life, is only a ‘precious’ moment between Dreams and memories..

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CGR kachitham ga oka chetha cinema ne.

Endukante caste, regional feelings tho okadni okadu champunee stage lo vunna, Chetha kante kullipoyina manaki,  CGR oka chathee.

Cinema ante audio functionlu , 100 rojula  functionlu, town records ani chankalu kottukuni egiree  Egomaniacs ki .. i mean, fans ki, kooda adhi oka chathee.

Pichcharu ante… 1st show ki Malle poolu pettukunna pellam tho vachi… migitha malle poola vanka ora ga chuse … So called soft & family type audience ki  adhi oka chathee.

Tamareddy bhradwaj ok sari annaru… “Mana telugu indusrty lo magaalu evadu leru….” Different subjects chese dammu evadki ledu ani. Mankunde anni nakshathraallo… I mean stars lo.. Alanti experimental subjects chese dammunna vallalo first vundedhi  pawan kalyan maatrame.

Asalu cinema enduku teestaru ? enduku choostharu ? Evadi taste vaadidhi…. , Asalu Art, dhaani purpose enti…   ane times pass kaburlu kasepu pakka na pedadham.

Telugu prekshkudiki asalu emkavali? Asalu  alanti vaadu evadanna vunnnda? Chachaada?

Vaadiki telsindhi okate template,

1.Introduction fightu

2.Introduction song … Song lo mass people. i mean akkadakkada labour janam kanapadaaali.

3.Heroine boddo leka..  Inkedhoo choopinchi mellaga screen lo settle avutundi.

4.Villian entry.

5.Comedy scene lu.

6. Fight lu… Heroine tho semi porn songs.

7.Malli fight lu

8.Comedy scene lu

9.Malli song

10.Climax fight ki lead chese scenlu…. Villian ni mamuluga narakatamo leka .. mukkalu mukkalu ga narakatamo jaragaali.

Ivee manaku Ten commandments… Kako pothe order maaruthu vuntaay.

Fight club lo hero oka sari antaadu… “Self improvement is masturbation.. Now, self destruction.”

Prathi movie tho Puri jagan adhi prove cheskuntunnadu ani anipisthundi. Avunu … Nothing new can ever evolve, until, the old is shattered and excreted.

Hero bhajanalu chesukuntuuu.. Heroine ni hero ekkada padithe akkada nokki… malli climax lo villain ni mukkalu mukkalu ga narikkuntu entha kaalam bathakaali.. manam entha kaalam choodaali?

Commercial cinema theeyaka pothe.. Fans kaagithalu ekkada visaraali? whistle lu ekkada veyyaali ???Banners evadiki kattinchaali?  Teleeka adugutha.. Asalu cinema mundhu putitndaa? Bannerlu mundu puttaya? So, edi Important?

Inka Hero lu anthaa, expectations meet avvalani.. Edo fans ki Baaki vunnatlu.. Ave kullu cinemalu teesthaaru… Suuuperu kekaaa ani…aa kullipoyina chetha nu  lottalu veskuntu manam mingaali.

Naaaku telisi Aaakali raajayam kamal haasan tharvatha… ‘Sri Sri’ ni antha powerful ga quote chesindhi pawan kalyan maatramee… Siggu tho tala vanchukovaali mana herolu.

“Neninthe” tho.. manishi struggle for existence ni choopinchi,  “Nenu na rakshasi” tho… asalu suicide ki, batiki vundataaniki reasons ento choopinchi, “Business man” tho Virtue of Selfishness ni, Objectivistic  philosophy ni choopinchi, manishi moralities ki immoralities ki pedda teda ledni cheppi.. “Devudu chesina manushulu” tho… Devudu asalu mana tala raathalu rasthada leda..   Ane radical idea ni,  Oka telugu commercial cinemalo pettee sathhaa vunna director Puri jagannadh maatrame.

Trivikram oka awards function lo cheppadu… Sirivennela Seetha rama sastry vachana kavithvam noble prize sthaayi lo rayagaligina vaadu ani. Thanu kevalam telugu cinema kavi avadam valla ila vundipoyadu. Telugu cinema kavi avadam, Sirivennela duradhrushtam ani.

Nannu adigithe… Same applies to Puri jagan.. Thana alochanala vajraalani… Commercial cinema ane chetha butta lo petti manaki isthunnaadu.

Bussiness man hallo choosthunnapudu.. naaku pichodila navvalani pinchindi.. Endukante.. ‘Dookudu’ huge success tarvata.. all time records tarvataa… mahesh cinema anagaane families, musali muthaka antha oopukuntu vachesaaru… Vaallanu koorchopetti choopinchina scenlu chaalu. Tassa diyaa… Choopinchaalsina vaallaki, choopinchaadu. Chaalu, Puri ki Life time achievement award icheyochu. 😀

“Manam andarm discovery channel choosthuntaam, Puli Ledini ventaduthu untundi, aa Visuals choosthee ee bhoomi meeda unna prathi Manishi Ledi tappinchukovali ani devudiki mokkuntuaru, Ledi tappinchukogane anandam tho claps kotti, tv kattestharu. Kodini champukuni biryani tinestaaru. Veellaki aa kodi meeda kani, Ledi meeda kani jaali undadhu, Aaa  Puli ante Kopam, Danni emi pekaleka Jaali, Karuna ani kaburlu cheptaaru..Manushulu kada andhuke Manavatvam gurunchi matladutunaru..”

“Appudappudu Terrorists lu bombs peduthu untaru… Indentity kosam, appudappudu vinayakudu Paalu taguthu untadu, nenu kuda unnanuuu ani, ade vinayakudu kani roju Paalu taagithe ikkadevadu paalu poyadu…”

Business  man, CGR.. lo story lu logic lu leevu… Avi kevalam oka IDEA ki visual existance ivvadaaniki chesina prayatnaalu maatrame. Puri Jaganadh oka sari antaadu… “Ae Cinema ki logic lu vundav.. Hit aithe Logic lu ave vasthaay !

Oka Varsham hero-heroine lanu kaluputhundi ante 200 days choosam manam.. Manaku logical thinking suit avadhu.

CGR lo ardham pardham leni songs chaala vuntaay… I felt happy that they were there. Endukante.. Indian cinema lo songs levaaa? Endi Documentary naa bosuuu?  ani adige chavatalaki.. Ee songs vundatam chaala avasaram. Songs adigaaru ga choodandi… Meeku ive correct..  ani Puri jagannadh chempa chellu manipinchaadu.

Okka maata lo cheppalantee.. Current political crisis ni.. vyabhichaaram la maarina Media ni siggu lekunda choopinchaadu Puri CGR lo. Movie lo oka pinnacle scene lo… dialogue, dialogue ki madhya “Ninne … Ninnee..” ani Kekalu peduthunte.. Manam entha nidra pothunnamo ardham avtundi. Cinema baaledu.. Chetha la vundi. Avunu septic tank open chesi .. lopala tala pedithe baaguntundaa..? Bagodhu !

Pokiri nunchi ayinaa…Puri Jagannadh cinemalu choosthe… Vaatiki oka fitting conclusion , Titanic range lo climax lu… Aakasam nunchi poolu padataalu… Andharu group photo la nunchunte evado okadu joke vesthe navvatam tho end avvatam laantidi vundav… Cinema oka chota aagipothundi. The End paduthundi. Anthe.

Endukante..  Mahabharatam yudham tarvata Krishnudu em Chesado… asalu ela chachadoo kooda evadiki clear ga teliyadu… Same applies to ramayanam… Raavanudini champaka mundhu, ramudu gurinchi anni details manaku telusu… Tarvata ela batikado … em chesado.. ela chachado… manaki anavasaram. Manam pattinchukom. Matlaadukom.

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In search of meaning of Life, in search of meaning of Love, I wander insanely in this endless journey.

It’s just one name, that I hear every where…  in every beat… every step…  screaming in my ears !

In search of the real, unreal, to understand it and to follow it. Is to understand the real, is to understand the Unreal? To focus on one thing .. to believe in some thing… to follow some thing… to gratify something.

We want something for the sake of something else. All we want is unreal, for the sake of something unreal. Is the ultimate reality, just the voice with in yourself?? Or just the vision within yourself ??

Is being somewhere at some time reality to us? It might be unreal to someone in some other place Or unreal to us in some other time.

Is , all that we perceive real and all that we can’t/wont perceive unreal??

What is the difference between Nostalgia and déjàvu in the exact sense? Aren’t they both, our pre-notioned beliefs??

Neo: You ever have that feeling where you’re not sure if you’re awake or still dreaming?    -The Matrix

How different is memory from imagination?We imagine abt events, to happen in certain fashion… and we imagine/anticipate others not to happen in some other way..

Memories dont exist for real.They are any unneeded consumeristic  product, advertised and bought by ourselves.There are no unconditional or unbiased memories… They are all… the way WE see them… the way we want to see them..

Memories are not colour, but black n White photographs  in our minds.. blacking out the things we don’t /cant see…while we look at wat we WANT to see.

All past is unreal unless we forcefully believe in it .. (Yes … it happened .. ! right? )Or told to believe in it… We were told abt our parents and childhood by someone..It is true until someone disproves it by mere words or things which might be untrue again. U never know. U cant be sure of so many things.. may be every thing. There is no reason or belief, only a CHOICE.

Dejavu is the proof that our past/memories are just a pre-notioned beliefs… Memory is no good than an imagination, when U worry abt whether it happened for Real or not.Past is only an approved imagination, while déjàvu isn’t approved by people around us.

I have no clue abt my past.. and i have no clue abt my future.. My work… my career… my death… MY DEATH! … Wat is that, we have to lose in here?? We fear abt losing our past sad moments and the future happy ones…  Present doesn’t divide Past and future… It divides sorrow and happiness…yet it is emotionally devoid of both. There is more sorrow in the past than we can imagine in the future… there is more happiness and enthusiasm in the future, than we can remember in the past.

Every second that’s gone is, nothing more than an imagination of, every second that is yet to come.

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If “Million dollar Baby” is just a movie, I wud have watched it back to back… I guess, for me, it doesnt fit in the “Movie”  category. (Even if I wanted to watch it again, The moment was already gone with my be-wilderness, after the movie’s ending).

The movie has lot more than to it.

Life exists, only when we stretch  the rational purpose of any thing.

Evry thing comes to Life , when we do more than ‘just that’.

When I clean my bike more than  “just cleaning” it … I live.

When I relish my food more than “just eating” it.. I live a few more moments.

When I hear a song or see a movie more than “just watching” it… I wud be still alive.

I understand that, Cint Eastwood has just done that. He dint “just make” a movie. He gave it a  ‘Life’ ! I’m quite sure, it lives in the memories and observations of countless people.

Some time back, after watching ‘Invictus’, I thought, Eastwood was a Great director. After “Here after”.. his genre amazed me.

Then “Mystic River” happened  …I still remember wat it has left me with… and  frankly, I still can’t completely  believe tat, Eastwood had made it…”Changeling” left me dumbstruck … with the depth n intensity of the story n the characters.

A person who was a charismatic  actor during his youth, now a  3 time Oscar winning director,Producer,mutilple time Oscar nominee Actor,Composer. I try in vain, connecting the dots of Eastwood,excelling in  most of the crafts.

Now after watching “ Million Dollar Baby” …Huh !

Let me take no more Time or Words, to call him ‘God’.. It might seem to be over exaggerating, but frankly,I  still feel bad,If tat is all ..I cud ever call him, in the sphere of my tangible possibilities. His stories leave me, shattering and some times in tranquility.They puzzle me if, Life is peaceful or Death is scary.I guess, both have thier own proportions.

Being a sports genre … I have had doubts, abt the Movie being distinct, to the others in the same league, but Million Dollar baby outclasses and puts itself in a league of its own.

It is difficult, I must admit… to explain or try to put in Words.. abt wat U feel inside, when U connect Ur self to some thing more than Good .. more than Real…

It wud be foolish, definitely,  trying to search for a message in the movie.. The acts of the characters … trying to draw a line  between them,  to name them Good or Bad.What we interpret might not be thier  argument.

There is always more than to the eye, and that alone,  is the Beauty in Life, if there is any.

A Song is never sung or heard,

A Story is never written or read,

A Movie never directed or watched,

There is no Creator nor an audience for Art, it always exists in the Mind connected to it.

Art is the only Entity that can ever exist in this world.. In our lives, emotions, every deed and… even in death.It is in the trivial and in the Supreme.

U can never share it.. nor own it…

U can never be greedy for it nor Can ever get, enough of it.

In all our endless moments of our lives, We witness Art … We see ourselves through it .. in all its forms, all ‘Our’ forms.

The running race we are all in, is wat we see through Art,  all the shapes we transform into.

Our ethics, morals, happiness, tears… Our reasons , responsibilities, our beliefs , doubts…Every thing is an irreplaceable brick in our souls.

We all do have Million bricks in us and this is One of the Million stories, the Movie shares with me.

P.S : It wud be superfluous to talk abt the performances of Clint EastwoodHilary Swank, and Morgan Freeman.More than the boxing matches in the movie, I enjoyed watching the trio, competing with each other.

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Unborn Mind ?

A book or a film is never a guide …. It isn’t a manual which tells us What to do or How to do something. I don’t see much difference between a book, a song or a color .I don’t understand when ppl say tat they don’t like a person, or they don like to watch movies.

I see a book, art, painting or a person just as…. a potential of infinite beauty… It’s a boat on the shore of the most beautiful lake . It’s all up to us… what do we do with it..  Jump on to it and take a ride or leave it there.

It is the ‘most precious’ one. An object of our own self, waiting to be touched.Its  a candle to lighten up, the unopened shelves of our soul. I won’t guarantee that the ride wud leave us all smiling…  it brings us fears , hope ,happiness…but, all of that was there already in us… it’s our very own ‘self’… if we don’t feel our ‘self’ , What more do we have  to do in here?

Everything…. Every single thing in this world is Art. So beautiful that, it is  just waiting for that perfect moment to take birth. Beauty is born in our mind. We give it a life and nurture it.

There can’t be a dull or in-understandable thing. It’s all us. It’s all our mind.

It’s us who give it a meaning. When we say we agree or disagree to an idea, we give it a meaning and shape.

When we think abt Sea, It is very serene. But sometimes,  It blows us off with its silence. It scares us with its silence… n we understand these words and relate to them… ”Scaring silence”… But silence is serene…. Then how did we agree, n relate silence with fear … and saw beauty in the “Scary silence” of the sea?

There’s is no reason in this world. It exists only in the mind. We give an equally fitting reason for doing something or not doing it. We have religious-tolerance, career-tolerance and at last… thought-tolerance. We can jus agree or disagree to anything at any time.

We call it “Our World”. That’s the way the world is…Isn’t it? >-)

Mind is just a mental machine … Group of thoughts hovering here and there… when we try to relate or connect them, with all our reasons and explanations…… thoughts are brought to life. We feel alive. We accomplish something. It’s great for some ppl… nothing for some… cruel for some or  boring for some.

People give us,  and to our accomplishment, a meaning … We give a concern, meaning, shape to their reasoning … They react to our reaction and it’s endless … Just goes on…

I can’t believe in any belief (?).  If mind is controlling us, our actions and our thoughts … Why don’t we see the insanity, when sum one tells us to control our mind? If sum thing else can control it… what s it? Shouldn’t that be controlled again?

Enough of bull shitting !

I want to laugh hysterically when I hear the words ”Hope” and “Move on” with equal prominence.

Ppl are nodding their heads to “Hope”.

Ppl are nodding their heads to “Move on”.

Isn’t us who give them a meaning? Don’t we rape our mind and beget “Hope”!!!!!…. Don’t we destroy it and bury our very own child (hope) in the sands of ‘reality’ ? But our children aren’t dead.

when some one gives me  a flower.. a beautiful flower… I am  glad and happy. I love it … but I see the child’s smile in that. When I ask them where was the flower from. They point to the sand, where I buried my Hope…. my child.

Can love blossom over buried hopes?

What the heck do we need in this life?

Career?  Money? Fame? Or Accomplishments? What do we need…? Or do we NEED jus Peace of mind? More desires, more needs.

What we desire is what we think , we need to desire.

What we need is what we think , we desire to need.

To live. To exist. To pass on… To justify the glory of our own life… if we lead a simpler life… to justify the glory of simplicity…

Life will always be a struggle …. Struggle to be great… Struggle to be simple.

I’m angry  at this moment…

Angry at what I know… which tells me what I need to know… which, after knowing, tells me….that the only reason for knowing is to be angry….Later I realize that I shouldn’t be angry n then, I realize that I can’t be angry… It’s all a mind game to be angry, to love , to live.

I jus want to break through my mind and ask it….  what it really wants?  (Who’s asking my mind?)

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